we wander the same streets friend, staring at all the people, placing them in the categories we can name for how they dress, how they hold their heads or hands. we try to find ourselves out there in amongst that throng of people. pretty girls in pretty dresses, tan legs unfolding on park benches. sunshine littered all over everything. even the dirty, stupid, stoned old men who ask for a slice of pizza or a dime...and yet, we can’t find ourselves there. the men that we are, are not. because we haven’t put ourselves on those same streets; we keep these men chained up in our heads with shackles of words and notions of “self”. the man in the suit very well could be, is, you. as is the boy who was flung out to the world and scattered over its face chasing an illusory man.
your third eye knows this; knows that the looking must be done the other way around. there’s nothing to be stolen, only a sense of being the victim of a theft. maybe because money says so. maybe because those girls rarely meet your gaze with theirs, and when they do...they’re crazy right. yet behind your eyes are your true eyes, look back in and then back out and what really matters becomes more evident.
there is great temptation to blame this lackluster slothful society for our own distressful ennui. there is the temptation to blame the “man” for asking too much. but we have to know, have to take away a different ease and take responsibility for our vision. existential crises too often get bullhorned, shouted to everyone else (who surely doesn’t want to, cannot hear them). hold your anxiety closer, hold your abhorrence for the men with pockets full of cash closer. “everything’s amazing, and nobody’s happy.” -CK Louis. want to be the exception? you’re halfway there. put down these amazing devices, pick up a book–or don’t–and begin to see yourself being the man you always wanted to be. because you are, and you don’t owe anyone a fucking thing for it.
as for what keeps us off the streets and able to take girls back home and get in those dresses: that is called the seat of our pants. fly by it. we’ve got healthier senses of entitlement and healthier doses of middle-class luck. it is not written in our futures that we should actually have to live without a roof over our heads. like the grifters in the movie “the sting”, we’re smarter and know the game too well to let it play us. always, just by a thread, managing to hang on. one damn dollar, one damn day at a time, but always singing loudly in our heads. -t
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Saturday, May 2, 2009
a hypothetical conversation: i am my own interlocutor.
A: people are mostly stupid (uninformed, lazy, uneducated, foolish...)
this is okay.
get over it.
Q: ...who the hell are you to say that people are stupid? are you the smartest person around(?) i bet many of the people you call 'stupid' know a lot more than you about a lot of things...
A: and, just who the hell are you to be asking me who the hell i am? are you saying that i have no right to judge the people around me? even if i don't treat them like morons? this could go on forever: who are you to say...etc.
Q: aren't people worthy of "the benefit of the doubt"(?) isn't this what compassion is about?
A: no. people need to earn intellectual respect. and compassion is about seeing our kinship on a human level and not separating people from ourselves. yes, calling other people stupid is separating them from me. but maybe i can't be bothered to look past idiocy in order to "bond" with my fellow human.
Q: does it bother you being the asshole with a superiority complex?
A: yes. but it bothers me more that everyone else makes such a big deal out of it. i wonder if we were left to our own minds and thoughts without constant interaction if we might just slip down into our own personal madness...or if we might transcend co-dependence.
Q: but there’s something wrong with your worldview: you aren't and can't just be left alone to your own mind and life. you live in a society with other people whether you constantly condemn them or not. they're there. wouldn't you rather be happy than judgmental?
A: no. while it's true that there's nothing, short of going and living in a cave, that i can do to escape my place in the vast web of human society; this does not mean that i have to be okay with what i witness. happiness is dependent on the external world (and people), expectations being met. what i seek is a joy that wells up from within, regardless of who is saying or doing what to or near me.
Q: it seems that this joy would cause you to be kinder and more accepting of your peers instead of dismissive and "superior".
A: yes, joy leads to equanimity. and this angst doesn't so much manifest outwardly toward everyone else as fester in me; a constant and irksome nihilism. i tend not to reach outside with my words and thoughts in an attempt to harm others.
Q: why do you feel this way? what justifications do you have for thinking that people are generally stupid...and why do you even care? also, what makes you think you're not like them?
A: "why's" enter into the land of belief. and belief is tricky and shifting (don't believe everything you think). that said, i believe that the evolution of consciousness (that is, our ability to witness the world in a spiritual and intelligent way) has been seriously compromised and degraded over the course of the last couple hundred years. as a whole our species has entered a time of technological advance which has left our minds-- the very tool of perception-- to rely on crutches. (picture the world at this moment if suddenly every cellphone, computer mainframe, server, power source failed at once)...mayhem. and what have we gained for this reliance? every gain seems to come with more than equal and opposite loss. for example, we create medicines with our amazing technology to treat mental illness resulting from our lack of real primary relationships caused by technological reliance...moreover, these medicines end up in our drinking water and work their way into the genetic structures of our children, and the future of our species is compromised on a very fundamental level. everyone knows this is happening, and yet nothing is being done to remedy it.
i believe that the native americans and other indigenous people had reached the highest point thus far on every level in the evolution of humanity. they lived harmoniously with the land and had healthy relationships with each other and the earth and their gods. their technology was advanced enough to allow them comfort, yet did not destroy the environment in which they employed it. it's no wonder that the advancements into their land by foreigners had such a dramatic and damaging effect. i think that the susceptibility to alcoholism and drugs addiction, along with their repercussions, by the natives of this earth had a lot to do with the delicate balance that they had reached--a respect and reverence for objects, people, substances, and spirits.
we've now lost respect and perspective on the issue of our human place on earth. we have 10,000 songs on a device in our pocket; that device takes over 10,000 years to break down in a landfill. ("landfill" i hate the word. as though the land weren't already full...with land!) 88,701,000 i-pods had been sold as of january 2007, over two years ago. and what does it gain me to have all this music and distraction at my finger tips at all times? i find that instead of talking to the people around me, learning, teaching, and discovering more about our intricate human existence, i am updating bullshit on the ubiquitous "facebook", shuffling songs around, downloading movies, and rarely finding anyone who has something really worth saying.
the comedian CK Louis recently made a comment on late night television that kind of sums this up; he said, "everything's amazing, and nobody's happy." it's true, as our language breaks down into an unsayable " il B here 4 2 mins bro whr u @ i mn WTF did U here Wt she did OMG, lmao, yea l8r sk8r" we lose touch with our own minds. we lose touch with those around us. we're plugged in, and we don't realize that we're plugged into nothing because we feel so connected. it truly is amazing to hold 10,000 songs in a pocket, or to be able to talk on the phone anywhere at all, but what happens to these objects of persistent fascination in the long run, and what do they do to us on their way to their inevitable ends? the reason i'm tempted to point the stupid label at everyone (even me, i have to admit) is because we can all see this happening, and yet we do little or nothing to offset it, or to change our behaviour.
i think our unwillingness--or intentional ignorance-- might be due to the inflation of everything:
since the american industrial revolution (1865ish) we've been polluting more and more of the earth while slipping further and further away from each other. (huge gatherings of people these days seem, like legislation, to be more symbolic than real.) the graph of the extinction of species over that same time period is a gradually ascending slope that becomes steeper and steeper the closer to the present it gets. this could also be a graph for the inflation of time--or the perceived "time-in-a-day" in which we live.
as technology makes everything easier it would make sense that more time would become available to us. instead the opposite seems true; the more we can accomplish in a given day, the more is expected of us, the more we expect of ourselves. and so, time seems to "speed up", leaving us tired and depressed and alone. "no man is an island." except now, every man is an island.
i think all these effects, are the cause of a stupid and greedy species. we are hellbent on destroying ourselves. scientists and activists point it out all the time, we all know what's going on. and yet, the reason SUV sales are down? people can't afford them. that's it. greed and gluttony.
something is going to happen. the earth will react savagely to our stupidity. people will call upon the deaf ears of their respective gods and many millions, billions, of people will die. i'm not a doommonger; i can't bring myself to believe in the "doom" of this. i see it more as salvation...a truer atonement (at-one-ment), a returning to "god". (there can't be "punishment" without a punisher, so we will suffer incomprehensibly at our own hands).
i guess, after all is said, that i am no better than anyone else. i have an i-pod and a laptop and i've thrown away old cell phones. i consume foods that are grown by starving people and shipped halfway around the world to my kitchen. the difference that i see between myself and "others" is that i am willing to ask myself these things and converse about them and wonder why my life could mean anything in the face of such a hopeless future. (if you're saying to yourself right now that it's not hopeless, then you're exactly what i mean by unwilling to ask).
Q: that's depressing. why do you get out of bed in the morning? what's the point?
A: i don't need a point to wake up and live my meaningless life. i feel like i'm being honest with myself is all. there is no point. that's okay.
...flip. everyone is born a good human being, we end up kind of fucking each other up, but we're good. and we're all connected, through the earth and our collective human spirit. we probably won't prevail over the damage we've caused the earth and each other, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try. try to treat every single person with respect. try to see that it is no "bother" to see the suffering of others as our own. try to project the joy that wells up from within us and illicit it from others.
i am. i am the obese man in the ford excursion throwing a bag of mcdonalds trash out of his window on the freeway. i am the soldier shooting the child in the face. i am the pregnant teenager and the man who raped her. i am the dalai lama. i am the buddha. i am anger and calm. i am ignorance and intelligence. i am tolerance and hate. i am human.
people are basically good.
this is okay.
get over it.
this is okay.
get over it.
Q: ...who the hell are you to say that people are stupid? are you the smartest person around(?) i bet many of the people you call 'stupid' know a lot more than you about a lot of things...
A: and, just who the hell are you to be asking me who the hell i am? are you saying that i have no right to judge the people around me? even if i don't treat them like morons? this could go on forever: who are you to say...etc.
Q: aren't people worthy of "the benefit of the doubt"(?) isn't this what compassion is about?
A: no. people need to earn intellectual respect. and compassion is about seeing our kinship on a human level and not separating people from ourselves. yes, calling other people stupid is separating them from me. but maybe i can't be bothered to look past idiocy in order to "bond" with my fellow human.
Q: does it bother you being the asshole with a superiority complex?
A: yes. but it bothers me more that everyone else makes such a big deal out of it. i wonder if we were left to our own minds and thoughts without constant interaction if we might just slip down into our own personal madness...or if we might transcend co-dependence.
Q: but there’s something wrong with your worldview: you aren't and can't just be left alone to your own mind and life. you live in a society with other people whether you constantly condemn them or not. they're there. wouldn't you rather be happy than judgmental?
A: no. while it's true that there's nothing, short of going and living in a cave, that i can do to escape my place in the vast web of human society; this does not mean that i have to be okay with what i witness. happiness is dependent on the external world (and people), expectations being met. what i seek is a joy that wells up from within, regardless of who is saying or doing what to or near me.
Q: it seems that this joy would cause you to be kinder and more accepting of your peers instead of dismissive and "superior".
A: yes, joy leads to equanimity. and this angst doesn't so much manifest outwardly toward everyone else as fester in me; a constant and irksome nihilism. i tend not to reach outside with my words and thoughts in an attempt to harm others.
Q: why do you feel this way? what justifications do you have for thinking that people are generally stupid...and why do you even care? also, what makes you think you're not like them?
A: "why's" enter into the land of belief. and belief is tricky and shifting (don't believe everything you think). that said, i believe that the evolution of consciousness (that is, our ability to witness the world in a spiritual and intelligent way) has been seriously compromised and degraded over the course of the last couple hundred years. as a whole our species has entered a time of technological advance which has left our minds-- the very tool of perception-- to rely on crutches. (picture the world at this moment if suddenly every cellphone, computer mainframe, server, power source failed at once)...mayhem. and what have we gained for this reliance? every gain seems to come with more than equal and opposite loss. for example, we create medicines with our amazing technology to treat mental illness resulting from our lack of real primary relationships caused by technological reliance...moreover, these medicines end up in our drinking water and work their way into the genetic structures of our children, and the future of our species is compromised on a very fundamental level. everyone knows this is happening, and yet nothing is being done to remedy it.
i believe that the native americans and other indigenous people had reached the highest point thus far on every level in the evolution of humanity. they lived harmoniously with the land and had healthy relationships with each other and the earth and their gods. their technology was advanced enough to allow them comfort, yet did not destroy the environment in which they employed it. it's no wonder that the advancements into their land by foreigners had such a dramatic and damaging effect. i think that the susceptibility to alcoholism and drugs addiction, along with their repercussions, by the natives of this earth had a lot to do with the delicate balance that they had reached--a respect and reverence for objects, people, substances, and spirits.
we've now lost respect and perspective on the issue of our human place on earth. we have 10,000 songs on a device in our pocket; that device takes over 10,000 years to break down in a landfill. ("landfill" i hate the word. as though the land weren't already full...with land!) 88,701,000 i-pods had been sold as of january 2007, over two years ago. and what does it gain me to have all this music and distraction at my finger tips at all times? i find that instead of talking to the people around me, learning, teaching, and discovering more about our intricate human existence, i am updating bullshit on the ubiquitous "facebook", shuffling songs around, downloading movies, and rarely finding anyone who has something really worth saying.
the comedian CK Louis recently made a comment on late night television that kind of sums this up; he said, "everything's amazing, and nobody's happy." it's true, as our language breaks down into an unsayable " il B here 4 2 mins bro whr u @ i mn WTF did U here Wt she did OMG, lmao, yea l8r sk8r" we lose touch with our own minds. we lose touch with those around us. we're plugged in, and we don't realize that we're plugged into nothing because we feel so connected. it truly is amazing to hold 10,000 songs in a pocket, or to be able to talk on the phone anywhere at all, but what happens to these objects of persistent fascination in the long run, and what do they do to us on their way to their inevitable ends? the reason i'm tempted to point the stupid label at everyone (even me, i have to admit) is because we can all see this happening, and yet we do little or nothing to offset it, or to change our behaviour.
i think our unwillingness--or intentional ignorance-- might be due to the inflation of everything:
since the american industrial revolution (1865ish) we've been polluting more and more of the earth while slipping further and further away from each other. (huge gatherings of people these days seem, like legislation, to be more symbolic than real.) the graph of the extinction of species over that same time period is a gradually ascending slope that becomes steeper and steeper the closer to the present it gets. this could also be a graph for the inflation of time--or the perceived "time-in-a-day" in which we live.
as technology makes everything easier it would make sense that more time would become available to us. instead the opposite seems true; the more we can accomplish in a given day, the more is expected of us, the more we expect of ourselves. and so, time seems to "speed up", leaving us tired and depressed and alone. "no man is an island." except now, every man is an island.
i think all these effects, are the cause of a stupid and greedy species. we are hellbent on destroying ourselves. scientists and activists point it out all the time, we all know what's going on. and yet, the reason SUV sales are down? people can't afford them. that's it. greed and gluttony.
something is going to happen. the earth will react savagely to our stupidity. people will call upon the deaf ears of their respective gods and many millions, billions, of people will die. i'm not a doommonger; i can't bring myself to believe in the "doom" of this. i see it more as salvation...a truer atonement (at-one-ment), a returning to "god". (there can't be "punishment" without a punisher, so we will suffer incomprehensibly at our own hands).
i guess, after all is said, that i am no better than anyone else. i have an i-pod and a laptop and i've thrown away old cell phones. i consume foods that are grown by starving people and shipped halfway around the world to my kitchen. the difference that i see between myself and "others" is that i am willing to ask myself these things and converse about them and wonder why my life could mean anything in the face of such a hopeless future. (if you're saying to yourself right now that it's not hopeless, then you're exactly what i mean by unwilling to ask).
Q: that's depressing. why do you get out of bed in the morning? what's the point?
A: i don't need a point to wake up and live my meaningless life. i feel like i'm being honest with myself is all. there is no point. that's okay.
...flip. everyone is born a good human being, we end up kind of fucking each other up, but we're good. and we're all connected, through the earth and our collective human spirit. we probably won't prevail over the damage we've caused the earth and each other, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try. try to treat every single person with respect. try to see that it is no "bother" to see the suffering of others as our own. try to project the joy that wells up from within us and illicit it from others.
i am. i am the obese man in the ford excursion throwing a bag of mcdonalds trash out of his window on the freeway. i am the soldier shooting the child in the face. i am the pregnant teenager and the man who raped her. i am the dalai lama. i am the buddha. i am anger and calm. i am ignorance and intelligence. i am tolerance and hate. i am human.
people are basically good.
this is okay.
get over it.
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