happiness is learning how to fly without an airplane

looks like there's absolutely no way to ask for and receive happiness from any part of the world. as much as i "am" and exist in the formations of my mind is as much as i can create my own happiness. i might bounce the very notion of it off other people and objects and mind-objects and then claim them to be the cause, but it was me all along.
the end of suffering is not happiness. the word is all wrong. if existence as we know it, as we've created it and continue to create it every moment, is not actual or accurate, then it is suffering and it is the cause of suffering. if suffering were to end it would require that existence (as we know it entirely) would also have to cease. so what am i left with then? another (no)thing to not ask for or receive happiness from.

in this reality i've created, i know that when happiness arises (or bounces back from something i threw it at) it must at some point end. as with my conceptions that create suffering. they cannot be maintained...because they are assembled of things that also cannot last. (ideas, delusions, cravings...) but say, i want something and then i get it. i'm happy with that. but is it really absent of suffering? musn't suffering exist in order to provide the other side of non-sufferings coin.

the risk of going on breathing is that everything must come to pass and go on and end. even me. even my loved ones. and it seems that the only way to "end the suffering" of this pervasive impermanence is by ending "reality". hahaha, so reality isn't real.

the eightfold path is a path written on the ground of the earth. it is words and ideas. but to follow it one must take up perfections which cannot exist on the ground of this earth through words. so, "right"-perfect mindfulness, perfect speech, perfect view, and attention...perfect action, perfect work. what i'm saying here is that the real request is for transcendence. luckily we have the only "yana", the only tool capable of breaking out, of creating the levity required for this flight: the human mind. (also, coincidentally the cause of our problems in the first place.)

bummer paradox: language and perception cause suffering by separating our own phenomenal bodies from the world, but if you didn't have them you'd be totally screwed...and you'd be ignorant because you wouldn't be able to learn...and ignorance prevents perfect knowledge.
really transcendence must be the way out. by wings or ropes or elevators, the way is surely up.

on the wonderful flip-side: gosh, it looks like all you gotta do is love. love until it lifts you up. love until you don't just love a him or a her. love your way out of anything you could ever say about it. love until you don't even know the difference between yourself and all that you love. i'm not really a fan of the Beatles, but it looks like they got one thing right.